Sunshine and Flowers

"Oh every time it rains
It rains pennies from heaven
Don't you know
Each cloud contains
Pennies from heaven
You'll find your fortune
Fallin' all over town
Be sure that your umbrella
Is upside down
Trade them for a package of sunshine and flowers"
--"Pennies From Heaven", Frank Sinatra

Perhaps I never seem to catch these pennies from heaven (aka wonderful opportunities) because I never use an umbrella. Therefore, I can't trade them for the aforementioned sunshine and flowers.

But when a deal like this falls into one's lap, how can you not take advantage of it?

Dear Sean, We wanted to notify you immediately about a new job posting that may fit your interest and skills set. You can easily access the job description by clicking on the link provided.

Gaze if you will into my future!

I might as well pack my bags now because this is the chance of a lifetime!

I think what made me laugh the most about this e-mail is the fact that it may fit my skills set. They're not quite certain, but apparently, my entire resume is devoted to my total love and enjoyment of package handling--on a part time basis no less. It really is nice of them to consider that I might wear myself out mentally and physically several hours a day at what just could be a taxing profession.

Maybe it was my B.A. in Package Handling that tipped them off...or the four years I spent as a protege in the Orient honing my craft. One never knows, but I'll be eternally grateful to pursue my dream!

Probably the saddest thing about this is that, to them (and others I'm sure), my entire life's experience amounts to little more than menial labor a few hours a week for as little financial reward as possible.

Thanks, but I'm kind of doing that now.

And I'm not knocking it per se. Look, there are many times when I'd gladly haul heavy boxes if it keeps me away from the general public. At least I can be alone with my thoughts and have a more interesting conversation with the voices in my head than many of the people I meet on a regular basis.

I don't even care about the financial rewards. Sure, it's nice to want to be wealthy at what you do, but as long as I was doing what I loved, I wouldn't care.

Case in point (and bear with me because this will go somewhere, I promise):

I was searching for health insurance online and was denied because I needed something from a physician that described my current health status. Since I was (at the moment) working only part time (and GOD FORBID you should get health care with that), I 1) couldn't afford the high cost of medical bills just to be able to get insurance and 2) needed to be full time to get it at work.

Lo and behold, an opportunity arose (seemingly shiny pennies, I might add at this juncture) wherein a full time position was made available to me. Well, since I enjoyed the place at which I worked and was told benefits would kick in immediately, why wouldn't I take it?

I then had to wait 60 days for the benefits to be available.

During that time, I pretty much abandoned the writing as I was working long and varied hours for very little more money. As the days dragged on, I was at least glad that the benefits would arrive to make it all worth it.

So over the past few weeks, I visited the family physician for a check up as well as an ENT for my ear (in which I had a tube inserted 5 years ago). After those blood tests and a sonogram (as I had a nasty gallbladder attack back in January), I was pronounced fine. The tests were within normal ranges and no stones (or creatures from my stint on the Nostromo lifting heavy boxes--vague movie reference) were found.

Each visit required no co-pay, which I thought odd. So the other day, my fingers went a wandering to the website to check out my claims.

As it happens, being pronounced healthy is detrimental to the overall wellness of my bank account. Seems that since I didn't meet the deductible, only a very slight "discount" was taken off my total bill (maybe about $100 or so) and I owe pretty much...WHAT I WOULD HAVE IF I NEVER GOT BENEFITS IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!

So then it occurs to me that the main reason I originally took the position was pretty much for nothing. On top of that, the absurdity of the whole process just made me livid. Paying about $68 a month for the past 2 months was slightly more than the amount of the discount, so in reality, I'm back at square one (or if I want to be really negative and offer a vivid picture, 30 cents shy of a quarter in terms of benefits).

It's almost like finding out there's cheaper gas about 30 miles away and driving there and back to get it. It's the illusion of saving.

As a result, one kind of has to come to the conclusion that working in any sort of job that you really don't enjoy is basically ridiculous. If you're not doing it for advancement, the hopes that the money will roll in and you can tolerate it because the money you get in return is worth it, or for the lavish benefits that suddenly aren't there when you need them, then what's the point, really?

That's why I've always found those pennies that fall to be somewhat tarnished and, in a sense, fleeting. You're never going to trade them for sunshine and flowers; rather, the allure of new shiny ones will only make you buy bigger, fancier umbrellas in the futile hopes that you'll get more and more pennies.

My advice is to take cover, enjoy life and watch the others scramble for the pennies.

Because sunshine and flowers are free.