Lamentations on Language and a Tried and True Testament to Tactile Tomes

"There sighs, lamentations and loud wailings resounded through the stareless air so that at first it made me weep; strange tongues, horrible language, words of pain, tones of anger, voices loud and hoarse, and with these the sound of hands, made a tumult which is whirling through that air forever dark, and sand eddies in a whirlwind."
--Dante Alighieri

(Pay attention...there'll be a fun quiz at the end! :) )

Thanks to Dante, we're able to conjure up a vision of Hell. However, when you think about the internet (some blogging, talkbacks, etc.), you can understand where "strange tongues, horrible language, words of pain [and] tones of anger" can be very similar to that. Moreover, the media thrives upon those who utilize "voices loud and hoarse" to get their points across, thereby releasing hellish beings like Bill O'Reilly, Glen Beck, Keith Olbermann (who I used to like) and a host of others to stifle intelligent discourse in lieu of one-sided opinions.

They are legion! Lol.

However, that discussion may best be saved for another post.

This post relates, however, to that quote in that I've noticed a trend in "horrible language" that now seems to permeate everyday life.

Has anyone else noticed that, when you're reading a story, column, post or anything else (by "professional" writers, mind you), you'll zip along the text and it hits you that one word wasn't quite right? Then, as an act of lunacy, you begin to question whether they're right and you're wrong!

Let me provide an example...

Say you're reading a mystery story where a crime has just occured and, just as the suspense is building, you come across something like this...

"Mack stood over the lifeless body as traffic echoed loudly throughout the room from the street below. From the hallway, he could here the faint clicking of heals growing ever distant."

Huh?

If you're imagining the voice of a narrator in your head, it "sounds" right to you, but you know there's something amiss.

Oh, right...there are two incorrect words in the latter sentence.

This is a growing problem that annoys the hell out of me.

Obviously, it escapes spellchecking because, technically, the words are spelled correctly. They're just the wrong words!

You don't "here" something...you hear something. And those aren't "heals" that are clicking (that is, unless, it's an alien race or magical shaman that can somehow remedy illnesses and are afflicted with TMJ Syndrome)...they're heels and are worn.

Some other words most often confused...

Something piques your interest, not "peaks" (or "peeks") it...

You lose control, not "loose"...

They're going to the store...not "their" or "there"

And one that infuriates me to no end is perfectly illustrated by this photo...


Not "your" a retard!

I sometimes wonder how we're allowing our society to become a nation of retards (those easily offended can take a gander at my earlier post on the true definition of "retard"). I don't think it's because we don't read enough.

It's that we don't read the right things.

The inclination nowadays is to get information from a convenient source like the internet. That's fine but make sure that what you're getting is quality.

Personally, I don't like reading everything online. Maybe I'm old school (not unlike Frank "the Tank" Ricard), but I still prefer the tactile sense of picking up a magazine, newspaper or a book. I fear with the arrival of gadgets like the Kindle (or the Kindle 2--they dropped the "Electric Boogaloo", thankfully) or the increasing reliance upon the web, that we're ultimately going to put less effort in substance and quality in order to hurry news and other bits of information along to the masses. As a result, we're going to learn to accept incorrect language, misspellings and even wrong information--and we're going to be worse off in the long run.

I hope that I'm wrong...I really do. But I see more and more evidence of it each day and in everything that I read.

Then again, by the time we reach the "Idiocracy" stage, my flesh will be undoubtedly roasting in the flames of Hell.

According to Dante's Inferno Test, I'm already destined for the Fifth Circle...where will you be?

Hopefully, your not near any devils with there pitchforks, hot on your heals and making you loose your sanity!

>:)

P.S. Told you there would be a quiz at the end!

Presidential gaffe?

Nah...self deprecating humor.

Relax everyone.

Yes, I heard the comment Obama made on The Tonight Show Thursday as I watched it and I immediately knew that he'd be roasted over the coals for that one.

My question is...why?

We've all done that at one point or another. He was merely stating that he sucks at bowling. I never thought that he was saying anything detrimental toward handicapped people. Yet somehow I knew that the media would jump all over it.

Should he have apologized? Of course (which he did)! Because he's the ultimate public figure and he knew that others would perceive it differently.

And why?

Because people, for the most part, are retarded!

Yes...I said it and I won't apologize.

And, once again, why?

Retarded,adj., slow or limited in intellectual or emotional development or academic progress. note: Merriam Webster also adds that the word is "sometimes offensive".

There's nothing wrong with the word in and of itself.

I know plenty of people who are emotionally retarded when it comes to relationships. I'm retarded when it comes to advanced science (and sometimes relationships but that's a story for another time ;) ) because I'm not wired that way.

I even have moments of retardation. Take today, for example. During a break in Final Four action, I switched over to the Padres-Cubs game briefly. I saw everyone sitting in the stands wearing sunglasses and light clothing. What was the first thought that ran through my head?

"How can it be that warm in Chicago?"

Immediately, I knew how retarded that comment was since I was slow to realize that it's still spring training and the Cubs are playing in Arizona!

The funny thing is that Obama never used the word. It's others who decided that's what he was trying to get across.

And he was in a way.

Because when it comes to being adept at the game of bowling, Obama is retarded.

We don't need him to bowl for us, though. We need him to fix the problems of the past administrations. In effect, that's what we hired him to do. Personally, I think he's the right person for the job. I didn't at first because he failed to impress me in the primaries. Since then, however, I've listened to him and watched him grow and I truly believe that in his heart, he wants what's best for America.

So hey retards...quit nitpicking, cut the BS and let him do his job. That goes for everyone else in society. We'd all be so much better off if we listened to George Carlin and adopt his common sense view of the world.

Language

Stop taking everything so literally and learn to take a joke once in a while. Contrary to what the Declaration of Independence says, we are not all created equal. Stop trying to pretend that we are and just enjoy life.

And for the do gooders and naysayers who find this line of thinking aberrant...remember, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone".

And I'm not even thinking of ducking...

That's one to grow on...