2/25 attempted!

So my best friend sends me a link today featuring 25 unorthodox ways to make money in the time of recession (yes folks, we are in one...let that "technical" definition alone). He made note of it because we tried and failed miserably to cash in on one of them. They are as follows with a running commentary attached!

25) Start Your Own Part-TimeBusiness From Home

*Sure...I have a few pyramid schemes where I can get you in on the ground floor...should you want to know where to send the cash, just ask...

24)Take a Part-Time Job

*Probably the best way out of fiscal jams but, if you've got a family, how are you supposed to raise them when you're working constantly (I'm sure I'll have a rant in the future about how politicians trumpet the importance of "family values" yet when it comes to having leisure time to spend with loved ones, they seem to find all the time in the world --especially the ones who solicit the prostitutes--but regular people have to slave away)

23)Seek Emergency Assistance

*Probably what we'll all have to resort to eventually

22)Make Stuff to Sell

*Hey, I tried to petition friends and neighbors to practice my taxidermy skills on loved ones so they could make a little extra cash at yard sales, but no one took me up on it. Who wouldn't want a stuffed Uncle Ernie bust on the wall? Even if it's not your Uncle Ernie...

21)Rent Out Your 'Spot'

*Meaning parking spot...maybe this works for people who live in Wrigleytown but doesn't seem to apply to the rest of the US...they might as well have made the next one "Start Your Own Major League Ball Club With Instant 100 Year Tradition"..that's just as likely...

20)Sell Stuff on Craigslist

*I have a major league ballclub close to a residential area...anyone interested?

19)Do Odd Jobs

*I do...from 8:30-5:30...tried the wandering minstrel show but it didn't pan out...

18)Find an Online Gig

*Mine turned out to be maintaining the preserved specimen of Gig Young...not pretty...

17)Collect Your Change

*Oh good...a gallon of gas!

16)Return Past Purchases

*And people are purchasing what? Have you seen the ghost towns they used to call retail stores these days?

15)Hold a Yard Sale

*For the stuff that's not yet repossessed...hurry...hey, where's my car?

14)Recycle Scrap Metal

*Panning for gold must have gone out of vogue

13)Become a Temp

*Did this last year...they sent me to a place where I was bored out of my mind...I literally sat there with nothing to do for 9 hours. When I asked to be reassigned to somewhere that actual work was going on, they told me that at least I was paid for doing nothing. Well by that logic, why don't I just sit at home and you mail me the checks? You'd think they'd want someone with a work ethic...must be me that's crazy...

12)Sign Up for Medical Tests

*I wish more people would do this...thins out the population a little and saves animals (whose company I usually prefer anyway)

11)Take in a Boarder

*Sign's going up tonight: "Drifters welcome". I trust peo...HEY, where's my car?!?

10)Tap Your Life Insurance

*Sure why not...you can't use it anyway...by the end of all this, we'll all be Soylent Green anyway

9)Get a Payday Loan

*Uncle Ernie didn't pay his back on time...you see what happened to him!

8)Raid Your IRA

*Forget the future...isn't that the reason we contribute...so we don't have to touch it now? Screwed now or later...hmmmm...roll the dice on this one!

7)Pawn Your Stuff

*I've got a "spot" and a boarder...how much will you give me? Didn't we get rid of this stuff in the yard sale?

6)Sell Some Body Parts

*Of course they mean plasma...won't we need that in a while to survive on the streets? Those cardboard boxes don't protect from the elements that much...you'll need that plasma to stay warm

5)Bank on Your Sperm

*Advertised sperm donation rates vary from $1 to $200 per week. How bad would you feel only getting $1? "Sorry pal, your guys are only worth a buck. Try the pawn shop." That guy at the peep show booth must be driving a Lexus by now!

4)Sell Stuff to Motorists

*If the way people drive in Vegas is any indication of how this is going to turn out, don't tap that life insurance yet.

3)Scalp Tickets (Legally)

*Milli Vanilli one man show! Get 'em while they're hot!

2)Go Scavenging

*They actually recommend getting a metal detector! If money is tight, where are you going to get the cash for that purchase? I prefer to scavenge in other peoples' homes when they're out. You can find LOTS of stuff there!

1)Head to the Casino

*This is the one my friend and I tried many a time...I really don't recommend this simply because it will lead to you wanting to set the casino aflame. Of course, I hear the jails are providing better lifestyles than most of us are living out here so this could be a viable option.

I'm still holding out in good faith for our leaders to pull us out of the quagmire...now if you'll excuse me, I have to go make a $1!

:D