"You can't always get what you want...

...but if you try sometimes
You just might find
You get what you need"
--You Can't Always Get What You Want, Rolling Stones

Several weeks ago, I happened to chuckle at the horoscope that was sent to me, telling me that my mantra over the next few days would be "delayed gratification" and that "showing up and playing the game, win or lose" is where I would find the most joy.

If I may retort to this prognostication by utilizing the delicate vernacular, might I say...

(Earmuffs, kids...)

BULLSHIT!

First of all, the so called "delayed gratification" isn't a mantra I would adhere to for a few days; rather, it seems to be apt to place on the title of my autobiography.

Second of all, who ever said there was joy in losing? I show up to places every day (work, home) and Bigfoot is spotted more often than I "win" at anything.

I've found that it rarely pays to get excited about most things. For example, I recently decided to go back to grad school. Great, right? Well, not so much. You see, I need a few things in my arsenal (transcripts, letters from professors, GRE scores, a sample of a work I would eventually submit as a thesis, etc.) to fully apply.

All within a month or so.

Some of those are going to be somewhat difficult to get on short notice as I obtained my B.A. oh...about 18 years ago. Lol. One professor may remember me, I'm almost certain that I'll need to retake the GRE and I need to really sharpen my project as it's meant for screenwriting, not for an MFA in English and creative writing.

Now of course I'm not giving up and will e-mail these schools to see what requirements I would have to meet to be considered. And I'm not looking for an easy way out.

But it would be nice to catch a break once in a while.

I've delayed gratification long enough and by damn, it's time for all that "karma" that everyone seems to talk about to come my way.

That's what I want AND need!