Counterpoint

"Some people in Pennsylvania see things as they are and say...why change?
I see things that never were and say...'What the hell is wrong with these people'?"
--Me, by way of George Bernard Shaw

I was talking to a co-worker the other day who isn't originally from Pittsburgh and told him that I recently came back from Vegas because I didn't like it. He was under the impression that I had blind allegiance to this city and was unable to recognize its faults.

Of course, I set him straight.

See, I've noticed quite a bit after being away...

Months ago, another friend (who's big into trains) asked me if I knew the three states where trains were still predominant. I guessed all three correct and one was...you guessed it...Pennsylvania (take a stab at the other two since I've spotted you one).


I knew that because navigating the streets here is like driving a Winnebago through a miniature railroad village. Everything seems so tiny to me and residents love to park on both sides of the street so that you need to grease your vehicle to pass (since only one lane exists in most areas). The copious amount of rainfall as of late offers wonderful lubrication as well.

Then there's the speed limits. In some areas where you have to climb huge inclines, you may not go over 35 mph...in other well traveled places, it's 25 mph. I believe those were kept since the horse and buggy years, if my sense of history serves me correctly.

The local bridge undergoing renovation is a major artery that directs traffic to an amusement park and a large outdoor shopping mall. Any person with intelligence would have looked into the future and said "Hey, why don't we either 1) start building another bridge with more lanes making these places more easily accessible or at least 2) take that vast amount of land that's just sitting there taking up space and not serving a purpose on the other side to create a huge parking lot and ferry service across the river charging a fee to reimburse us for the project?"

But no...we'll shut down half the bridge, thus creating a giant snarl of traffic while we repair it and then do the other side after that so ultimately, the project will take a few years and make this small town even smaller!


Finally, I remember when I visited other states and you could buy alcoholic beverages at grocery and convenience stores. I was amazed! They even have that luxury in Ohio! Not here. You have to go to specific places like a wine & liquor store or a beer distributor to obtain these items. I'm surprised we still don't have cobblers, apothecaries and blacksmiths too...

I know progress is slow, but (and correct me if I'm wrong), Pennsylvania still isn't one of the 13 colonies is it? I mean, this is a recognized state in America. Pittsburgh's team won the Super Bowl SIX TIMES...can't we see at least a little something in the way of coming into the 21st century?

Just wondering...

;)

Things that make you go...hmmm (Special Pittsburgh Edition)

Let me begin by stating that I do love my hometown. If I didn't, I wouldn't have moved back!

That said, I can still find things to laugh about...

Take the accent for example. Some people's are more pronounced than others but the following video is indicative of a large part of the population...



I was sitting at the AAA yesterday (still in what might be a 4th vain attempt to get my title transferred from Nevada to PA) and overheard a woman whose voice and accent weren't too far from what you saw in the video.

Needless to say, I cringed. I remember when I went to school in Milwaukee (Algonquin for "the good land" for those of you who saw Wayne's World) and people remarked that they were surprised I didn't have an accent. I said "That's because I'm intelligent."



Then again, I've been wrong before! ;)

The local news had a special report on air pollution in the city and Pittsburgh was listed as one of the worst cities for particle pollution. You can read about it here.

Apparently, we're deemed as a city where "it can't get any worse". Hey...look at it in a positive light. Nowhere to go but up!

As I waited to go into Barnes & Noble today, I glanced at my watch and it was about 9:50. The store opened at 10am. I stood outside, just lingering about (not loitering because that would be against the law) when a woman walked up to the door.

Clearly marked on said door was a huge sign posting the hours of operation. So what did the woman do? She yanked on one of the two doors which failed to open. Then, undaunted, she immediately pulled on the other with the same result. I chuckled, turned my head in the direction of another store across the street and a woman was doing the very same thing at that establishment!

(I included that anecdote merely to show that stupidity runs rampant no matter where you live. I just thought it was funny.)

Finally, the once red hot Pirates (who swept the 11-1 Marlins last week), buckled under to the Brewers today in Milwaukee. The score was 1-0 and, from what I understand, Brewers' pitcher Yovani Gallardo threw a gem.

He was also responsible for the only run, smacking a dinger in the 7th inning.

I hold no illusions that the Pirates are even in the realm of contending this year, but I somehow find it hard to believe that some nights, the Pirates look like the Gas House Gorillas...



Other nights, they (in the words of the immortal Tommy Lasorda) "couldn't hit a beach ball with a log".

At least I can find humor here...that's why you gotta love the 'Burgh!

Saturday Observations

I abhor doing resumes. I especially despise toiling away on them to upload on a potential employer's website only to discover that you still have to fill in all the information anyway!

The Tribe seems to be off to a blazing start this year as 2008's Cy Young winner, Cliff Lee, drops to 0-2. What is it with that team having reigning Cy Young winners falter right out of the gate? It happened with Sabathia too....but he's consistent because he stumbles out of the gate every year. This year, however, he doesn't have a nice, cushy NL Central division to fall back upon for victories. And I hate the Yankees!


I caught a picture of Tiger in the green at the Masters. Unless they're starting to make the jacket out of foliage, I don't think he'll be wearing one this year. I like Tiger--especially since he gets people to watch golf that normally wouldn't. Not to mention the fact that he's incredibly talented. He'll be back to form...give him time!

It's amazing what a difference there is in the topography between cities like Las Vegas and Pittsburgh. It's difficult getting re-acclimated to driving on roads that are narrow and replete with hills as opposed to the wide open expanse of Vegas. However, it's nice to deal with people that don't have a wide open expanse between their ears as possessed by most of the population in Vegas.

I'm only a scant few chapters into Columbine by Dave Cullen but I can tell you that thus far, it grabs you and prods you to want to read more! Seems the reviews I've read about how well written it is are right on the mark.

I caught a promo on the Discovery International channel about a special on cults that airs next Friday. I had forgotten that the Jonestown massacre was the largest loss of American civilian life until 9/11. Amazing how we forget the little details over time. (Not that it's an insignificant detail...just curious as to how not many people even remember that event nor mention the amount of life lost.)

Speaking of "Lost", it's still the most interesting show on TV (come on...you didn't think I'd go much longer without mentioning it did you? ;) ) I still have my fingers crossed that it doesn't end up like the X-Files, which drowned in its own mythology.

And finally upon reading these observations again, why is it that I have the voice of Larry King in my head? Now you will too!

:D

Happy Easter everyone!

Traveling Through Time (Zones)--Day 4

I'm not sure why, but I honestly thought Indianapolis was in the Central time zone. You can imagine how surprised I was when I saw my phone suddenly change to an hour ahead when I thought I would beat the rush hour traffic to my hotel in Indianapolis today.

I chalk it up to car lag, of course...or the fact that some of the idiocy of Yoko still lingers in the air!

Speaking of whom, I alluded to something that I did as part of my revenge for her making life miserable the past year and a half in my post a few days back...perhaps this is an opportunity to elaborate...

If you'll recall, one of the five completely idiotic comments she made one night was that "eggs don't spoil"...well, after being out with friends on Friday night, I decided to test her theory with a little early Easter egg hunt!

I decided to take about a half dozen eggs and scatter them in various places around the kitchen and living room, hiding them well. Since I don't buy her theory and she likes to keep the condo really hot, she should start noticing the smell soon! :D

And my last vision of Yoko will always be this:

I was loading up the SUV at around 6:30am Sunday morning and, at one point when hauling things out, noticed that she was up and about. She asked me what I was doing. When I informed her that I was leaving, she was shocked! (Odd that she knew when I was leaving yet this still surprised her.)

She mumbled something and, as my hearing isn't the greatest, I asked her to repeat it. She looked grim and set about making her coffee. Later, she said that she knows I hate her and again, this time I didn't hear it...on purpose. Before I left, though, she wept and gave me a big hug and the smell of alcohol almost knocked me to the floor. Again, how can anyone be like that? I guess she was up all night drinking alone in her room. Now if she was called out on this, she would always tell Mark "I'm sorry. I screwed up." But she never learns...

So as you can pretty much surmise, nothing much happened today. No rain, no animal regurgitation, no major events.

I chalk this up to the fact that I've re-entered civilization...lol. Maybe the cold has something to do with it. The heat of the Southwest probably makes people crazy and the chilly weather somehow subdues that.

No...today I just enjoyed a shorter drive than the past two days, listened to some music and did some thinking. It's amazing how much runs through your mind when you have plenty of time to spend with yourself. Most likely, I'll touch upon that later as I'm still pondering things. However, one lyric that really seemed to sum everything up was this...

"This is a new beginning
I'm back in the land of the living"
--Twist Of Fate, Olivia Newton John

Now it's a 5 hour trip to Cleveland where I'll spend the next few days with friends before returning to Pittsburgh sometime on Monday. In some respects, it will be like traveling back in time to a zone where things were, in retrospect, a lot better. With one caveat in terms of expecting anything will be the same as they were before...

"Don't bet your future
On one roll of the dice
Better remember
Lightning never strikes twice"
--Back In Time, Huey Lewis & The News

Indeed!