I was living in Pittsburgh, working at a job I absolutely despised (a bank) and still had a sense of optimism for what the future held.
Ten years later, I'm back in Pittsburgh, working at a job I can tolerate but is not "me" and that sense of optimism has diminished quite a bit.
The past decade seems like a blur, really. I spent 5 years living in Cleveland and another 2 1/2 in Vegas. I've met a lot of people along the way, some great, some not, some still in my life, some not, one that's no longer with us and some I wish weren't (yes, that's cold hearted, but truthful).
I've lived, loved, lied, lamented, laughed and longed...basically running the gamut of emotions and experiences as everyone has.
Mostly, though, as I look back on how life has been, it appears as if I've conceded in a lot of ways to the realities of the world. These concessions aren't of a superfluous nature, mind you, because they've taught me invaluable lessons on how I might want to spend the next decade and beyond.
As I mentioned in my last post, the past ten years seemed to highlight an era that was replete with dreamers. However, many of those dreamers were of the delusional type, imagining untold riches beyond that which many are capable of reaching or handling.
Now it's not to say that I've dreamed of getting rich quickly (or otherwise). But perhaps I've set lofty goals for myself that aren't as realistic as I had once imagined.
What really started me thinking about this is something that was brought up in a podcast between sportswriter Bill Simmons and author Chuck Klosterman (which you can listen to here if you scroll down to The B.S. Report 12/21 parts 1 & 2). The two were talking about college football being exciting to watch and Klosterman brought up the point that he loves to watch college players because, for the majority of them, this is the highlight of their lives. While a small percentage will go on to play in the NFL, many will eventually become insurance salesmen, attorneys, retail workers, teachers, or something other than football stars.
So I started to wonder...what if I've reached the apex of who I am? That is to say...what if I've crested in my life in terms of where I'm going and perhaps haven't realized it yet. Or maybe I haven't. Or maybe the best is yet to come.
Perhaps it's time to tone down the dreams several notches and just be realistic for a while. If things happen, great; if they don't, then I'll be prepared.
In any case, I read an article a few months back that was intriguing. A writer from Wired magazine was going to attempt to vanish and see if people could track him down. Several issues later, he published the outcome: Writer Evan Ratliff Tried To Vanish--Here's What Happened.
Of course, there are flaws with his methods. The biggest one being that he dared people to find him (with a cash prize awaiting the one or ones that did). Another was leaving false information on the internet to throw people off his trail.
I say, if you really want to vanish, you have a good possibility of doing so if you plan it out correctly. In the modern age, however, odds are that if people are looking, you WILL be found eventually.
However, our society is so enamored of being loved and wanted and feeling needed that they broadcast the most excruciating minutiae of the day to both friends and strangers. Maybe it's just me, but I couldn't give a rat's ass as to how you are in 140 characters or less from your Twitter. I'd rather have a conversation with you. I also don't need to know where you're eating (or in many cases, pictures of it) through a Facebook update.
Proponents of technology argue that social networks et. al. bring people together. Of course they do, but superficially for the most part. I can't tell you how many people have broached the idea of getting together only to then fail to respond when I tell them to let me know when they're free and we can do something. I completely understand that many are married, have kids and work. I get that time is a valuable commodity. It is for all of us. I also acknowledge the fact that the economy puts a damper on going out and doing frivolous things.
But maybe just consider meeting for a beer or grabbing some wings or watching a game. You can leave your houses, people. It's not that hard and there are many places where it won't cost that much. You just have to know where to go. Hell, I haven't lived here in eight years and I've found places where it's inexpensive and you can have a good time.
Vanishing point, n., a point at which something disappears or ceases to exist.
To a lesser degree, I'm going to attempt something along the lines of Even Ratliff. I'm going to "vanish" for a while. This will be my last blog post (here, anyway). And...I'm going so far as to change my number and email address.
Now here's the catch.
I already have a new blog up but not yet running. This one will remain here just for the hell of it. I'm not providing the title of the new one here but if you can find it and you're willing to go that extra mile, I'll be waiting for you on the other side. I'll even give you two clues: my name isn't on it and the title of the blog is a variation on a somewhat eccentric 1984 book that became a movie in the early part of this decade. In fact, everything you need to know to point you in the right direction is right above in this post. Good luck on that one.
My new email should be relatively easy to figure out. Namely, there's no trickery involved there.
While I won't delete my Facebook profile (as I understand is relatively impossible and time consuming to do), I'll probably take a sabbatical from there as well.
"And my ties are severed clean
Less I have the more I gain
Off the beaten path I reign
Roamer, wander
Nomad, vagabond
Call me what you will"
--Wherever I Roam, Metallica
I'm going to close out the first decade of the new millennium on a different path. Hollie and I will be doing a Lost marathon tonight to wind up the fifth season. Perhaps having been "lost" for many years, I can find something new on the horizon and find the path I'm meant to be on.
"I haven't a clue as to how my story will end. But that's all right. When you set out on a journey and night covers the road, you don't conclude the road has vanished. And how else could we discover the stars?"
--Unknown
