"Mirror in the bathroomPlease talk free
The door is locked
Just you and me"
Mirror: "Oh...it's you...what the hell do you want?"
Me: "Answers."
Mirror: "Want to hear a joke?"
Me: "Sure."
Mirror: "Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says 'Make me one with everything!' Vendor pockets the money and hands the Buddhist his hot dog. Buddhist waits a moment and asks for his change. Vendor replies 'Change comes from within'."
Me: "People hate change anyway."
Mirror: "Why do you say that?"
Me: "Gets in the way."
Mirror: "How so?"
Me: "Literally, it just sits there and jingles in your pocket. It's a reminder of what you don't want to carry around. That segues into a figurative interpretation of something you can't handle and want to get rid of."
Mirror: "So what does that tell you?"
Me: "Didn't I come to you for answers?"
Mirror: "You did, but I'm not your goddamned fairy godmother. You're the one asking your reflection what's what. You think I can wave a magic wand and make it all better?"
Me: "One would hope."
Mirror: "Well...bottom line is that you want the truth or else you'd just make up stuff in your head and not bother with me."
Me: "True."
Mirror: "So what you really want is to look yourself in the face and at least have someone listen to you...someone with common sense."
Me: "That would be refreshing."
Mirror: "I'd say you're wasting time with idle chit chat but since I'm not a shrink, at least you're saving money. Get to the point because I'm getting tired."
Me: "You do look a little world weary. Anyway...you saw me in Vegas. I was unhappy and angry. Now I'm back here and, thanks to many of the nice people I've come back into contact with as well as some decisions about life in general, I do feel happier."
Mirror: "So what's your point?"
Me: "Point is that there are still some that, no matter what you do, it's just never good enough. They don't like you this way...they don't like you that way...nothing appeases them."
Mirror: "Why not just avoid them?"
Me: "There are some that are impossible to avoid."
Mirror: "Family."
Me: "And some friends. Aren't people supposed to accept you for who you are?"
Mirror: "Ideally."
Me: "Then why do others try to mold me into what they want?"
Mirror: "Perhaps they're not satisfied with themselves and want to project that on you. Can't say you're not guilty of that either in the past."
Me: "That's true. But if I can change, why can't others?"
Mirror: "I refer you to my joke."
Me: "So you really can't be of any help at all?"
Mirror: "Again, not a fairy godmother."
Me: "You know I can crack you into a million little pieces."
Mirror: "Then you'd have seven years of bad luck."
Me: "And how would I be able to tell the difference even if I didn't smash you?"
Mirror: "Hmmmm..."
"Mirror in the bathroom
Recompense
For all my crimes
Of self defense
Cures you whisper
Make no sense
Drift gently into
Mental illness"
--Mirror In The Bathroom, English Beat
