The Final Four

"We think we've come so far
On all our lies we depend
We face our consequence
This is the beginning of the end"
--The Beginning of the End, Nine Inch Nails

"And that's where we're going...back to the beginning. Not the bang...not the word. The true beginning. The next few months are going to be quite a ride. And I think we're all going to learn something about ourselves in the process."
--Evil Thingy, Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Those of you expecting me to delve into the realm of the NCAA Tournament might be a little disappointed since this post has nothing to do with sports.

Rather, today marked the beginning of the end of my tenure in Las Vegas with only four weeks remaining. Oddly enough, it will be exactly 2 1/2 years to the date that I arrived in this desert mecca.

I think I stayed a year and a half too long...

There are many reasons why I've decided to go, but until reading the book A$$hole: How I Got Rich & Happy By Not Giving A Damn About Anyone & How You Can Too by Martin Kihn, I never fully realized the true reason...

I was becoming one.

There's a lot of truth to the theory that posits that you are shaped by your environment.

Because there are a LOT of a$$holes out here!

Funny thing about that book is that it really doesn't turn out the way one might expect--and that was probably the very thing I appreciated most about it.

See...I never came out here to become rich. Happy? Well, that would have been a bonus.

I recall the first time I visited back in the spring of 2006. After traipsing from one casino to the other, I immediately noticed that 1) all of them were virtually the same and 2) they wouldn't be places where I would be spending a great deal of time.

And I was right.

Flash never appealed to me. Substance does...and oh, does this place lack substance. Culturally, it's bereft of anything to offer unless you're one of those who are dazzled by people and things twirling in the air or lavish shows that last about a decade.

And as for the a$$holes that inhabit this city? Let me be the first to acknowledge that they are indeed everywhere. All you have to do is go through your day in any city in the world and you'll find them. But this place is replete with them...and most are transplants from California. (In fact in this turbulent economy which sees people fleeing Cali for other places across the US, the state might want to adopt the slogan "Move to California...many of the a$$holes have moved to Vegas!" to attract residents.)

Funny thing is...I'm not the only one who feels that way. I remember a conversation shortly after I moved here. I was talking to a woman and her husband (who happened to be a director on one of my favorite shows of all time, Get Smart) and when I told her I had just moved here, she warily eyed me up and asked where from. After I told her, she sighed with relief and told me that she was glad I didn't say California because "those people have ruined this town" for natives and longtime residents.

I can completely see her point...and she's not the only one who voiced this opinion over the years.

You see...people here are delusional. Many have this vision of an elaborate and successful future that never seems to materialize--mostly because they just hope it happens! "Positive thinking" is a very big deal out here. I've never heard so many people mention that and I've lived in several different cities across the US.

I've been lambasted by several people for not being a "positive thinker". To me, that's just like praying. You're either going to make it happen, it's going to happen by some degree of good fortune or it's not going to happen. There is no mystical force that explains everything (unless you have Midi-Chlorians in your bloodstream, but that's another story). And, to top it all off, most of the so called "positive thinkers" are currently seeing their lives devastated by the economy. Losing their homes, being forced to relocate or just in general disarray, they still claim that with "positive thinking", things will work out.

I suppose I just don't understand that. If that worked, then why wouldn't you just sit at home and think positively all day about all good things coming your way? There's really no need to leave your home if that's the case! Frankly, this "feel good" movement baffles me and I think it's part of the reason this country's in the shape it is right now. Keep denying reality and watch how fast things fall apart and the center of "positive thinking" doesn't hold (thanks Yeats).

Which brings me to a prime example of the delusional "positive thinker"--my roommate's girlfriend whom I've always referred to as Yoko from day one. Why? Well, she's caused somewhat of a rift in the friendship. Personally, I think she's a complete moron and there are many prime examples as to why.

Since Yoko moved in, she's wanted to: 1) win an AVN award (for the part time business that she's in), 2) become a web designer (though she only reached page 76 of Web Design for Dummies and abandoned that idea when it became too technical), 3) study to be a vet's assistant (which she revealed to me while wearing a full length genuine fur coat) and 4) go back to school to become a mortician because "they make $5,000 a month".

The last one had me intrigued since I wasn't aware that morticians made that much so I looked up the median salaries for that profession online. The high average per year is a few grand shy of $50,000. Of course she never bothered to research that--instead, when asked by my roommate where she found that information, she told him that she "heard it somewhere".

In addition to this, she would consistently ask one or both of us for advice. We both advised her to stay with the current profession (which probably won't garner her an award), make as much money as possible as her window of opportunity is closing fast (she's 42), save it and really look into what she might want to pursue afterward. Instead, she blew all of that money on eBay items, bailing herself out of idiotic jams induced by sleep aids and painkillers and all around stupidity.

However, she and other simpletons I know keep falling into one opportunity after another, somehow making money.

Now on this point, someone that I know said that I was being envious because I consistently brought these people up as I queried as to how they kept falling into money!

Let me say for the record that I was never one to covet material things and those who know me well know that. I've had wealthy friends throughout my life from grade school to high school, through college and up to today. I don't care about being rich. What I'm flummoxed about is how these certain people keep getting offered chances to make large sums of money regardless of whether these opportunities are valid or just sales pitches for get rich quick schemes.

Maybe it's because they think positively...or, perchance, it just could be that they are completely delusional to the point where they believe it will happen. When it doesn't materialize, they just move onto the next fantasy.

I guess that's just me being negative...

Anyway, back to the book. I read it not to get rich or be happy...just to better understand certain types of people and how fortune might favor them. It, along with the book Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell, has shed at least some light on the subject.

I did wonder if being an a$$hole is what it takes to get ahead in the world and if that's what we, as a society, are headed toward. In some cases, it does help, but, for the most part, people despise you in the long run. Then, there are some people who are fortunate enough to be in the right place at the right time or born into the right situation as established in Outliers.

Anyway, after reading Kihn's book the other night, I realized that that's exactly the path I was headed down--and that's not me.

I was becoming a product of my environment and those close to me could sense it.

Recently, I asked my good buddy (lol...you know who you are) if I had seemed happier at one point because she's known me the entire time that I've been out here. She said yes. I further inquired as to what might be the point when that all started to change (and I was searching for a particular answer because I knew what it was).

She said it was when Yoko came into the picture.

And it was.

It was after that turning point when I started to notice exactly how delusional people were...and what assholes many others were.

Perhaps if I wasn't faced by it consistently, it wouldn't have been so bad and might have taken me longer to realize what a vapid town this really is. To see people vacillate between fantasy after fantasy on occasion with acquaintances and strangers is bad enough...to see it on an everyday basis is just unbearable.

And there's just no swaying them with common sense! Interesting case in point and a great anecdote to illustrate matters: In January of 2008, I recall telling people (even those in the financial industry!) that we were in a recession. All told me that I was crazy and threw the"technical definition" of a recession at me to dismiss my claims. Turns out that I was crazy. The recession actually started in December of 2007. My roommate recently made the point that two unemployed guys (us) sitting on couches in Las Vegas could see it happening but supposed intelligent people and financial wizards were oblivious.

As a result of attempting to persuade others to think with common sense, I was becoming an a$hole because the anger just started to boil up inside of me at their lack of being able to carry on civil discourse and instead adhere to their myopic, delusional view of the world.

I'd rather go back to being the "nice guy" and happy no matter what I'm doing.

So I'm going back to where it all started--my hometown of Pittsburgh. At least for now.

The Vegas experiment is coming to an end and it's time to forge a new path.

Is it the best move for me to discover a new beginning and continue learning about myself in the process?

In that respect, I'm positive!

;)