Two To Go

With now less than 2 weeks left before I finally hit the road, I was treated to the secondhand tale of a blowout argument between Mark and Yoko.

He had stepped out for some food and I was rustling up some vittles for myself when Yoko comes into the kitchen. Within five minutes, she proceeded to utter as many ridiculous comments as there were 60 second spans.

First up, she was curious as to why the word "wet" was written on the box of wings that he had brought back for her. Now mind you, this wasn't a dumb inquiry since not many people are aware that, at Buffalo Wild Wings, "wet" means that there's extra sauce on them. However...when I informed her of that, she said "I thought they might have water on them or something".

One down...

Next up she mentioned that she absent mindedly opens my cabinet to look for cups because "it's near the sink and that's where the cups should be". I suppose the year and a half that she's lived here didn't have any effect on memory retention. When I replied that the cupboard will be empty in two weeks, she said "Well I can just move the cups over then".

Now...since Mark has already informed her many times that he's shutting all the utilities off after I leave and that she has to find a place since he's unloading the condo, one can't help but marvel at the pure stupidity of this comment. I mentioned it to him and said that I don't think she's truly comprehending the fact that she's going to have to leave. She's not packed a single thing, nor has she made an attempt to move her furniture out of storage in the garage. I, on the other hand, am pretty well packed and ready with just several more things to ship and items that need attention.

Two down...

Which leads to the rest of the comments...

She has a weird habit of storing butter in the cabinet. When I first saw this glob of butter on a plate after she first moved in, I thought it was dirty so I set it out for them to clean. She said that this is the way people store butter out here. I asked many people and they looked at me as if I were strange.

So after the cabinet remark about the cups, I told her that at least it's normal to want to store them close to the sink and that it's better than the butter thing.

She said "Well that's the way everyone I know stores it...besides...butter doesn't spoil".

Hmmm...three and four down...

Then, she one ups that dilly with this comment:

"Eggs don't spoil either."

Ok...number five can be argued on a technicality. No...they don't spoil, but they do GO BAD! And I know that's what she meant because she even offered an interesting tidbit from a job she once held at Safeway.

From what I understand, she said that she used to take old eggs and put them in new containers because of the profit margin...which I found illuminating. So either that happened in her fantasy world or my days of purchasing eggs (or any dairy products for that matter) are pretty much over at any Safeway related store.

I guess those expiration dates are merely suggestions...just like she feels hers is here in the condo.

Again...is it any wonder why I can't wait for these two weeks to pass quickly?

**Blogger's addendum: According to Mark, that question about what "wet" meant may have been a valid inquiry...had she not asked him the exact same question two hours earlier!